Once there was a boy who was born to goodly parents.
He was their second child but their first son.
He had a loving older sister, who liked being in charge.
And while he hoped for a brother, he got 3 more sisters.
But he learned to love them just the same as a brother.
Especially when they played He-Man with him.
Even though they brought along their Barbies who towered over He-Man.
He loved to go camping and fishing with his dad.
He also loved to watch movies and tv with his dad.
He loved to go shopping with his mom.
He loved staying up late to talk with his mom.
But really he just loved spending time with his family.
Exciting vacations were great fun.
He especially loved Disneyland, really all things Disney.
But staying close to home could lead to "some fun Saturdays".
He loved being young and care free, but life moves on.
He grew, and he grew until it became time to start his own family.
So though he tried and he tried , he got a rough start.
But as luck would turn out he found a young Canuck who was far-out.
Though at first he struck out, she eventually came about (though she may say "aboot").
The year was 2004 and a union was sealed.
Lost in their own little paradise, they looked forward to life and all it may contain.
Happy with life they progressed forward with news that their firstborn would soon be here.
Joyously looking forward they began to prepare.
Looking forward to parenthood and all the joy they had to look forward to.
He thought what fun it will be to take his little one fishing.
And of all the fun talks they would share.
But all the while they were unaware what lied near.
Sadly they mourned the miscarriage, hoping to one day reunite with that sweet soul.
Life continued to move forward with its ups and downs.
They had good days and bad but together they moved on.
Their hopes arose again as another sweet soul was granted to their family.
But sadly this one to, awaits them in heaven.
Hopes of taking his new child camping.
Or on an all day shopping spree.
Drew to a close.
But the sun did come out and once again they held each other up.
While he started to doubt, he would ever get to be a dad.
Along came another sweet spirit to join their family.
Hoping that the 3rd time would be a charm, hopes once again arose.
He could not wait to take his child on vacation to Disneyland.
But most of all he just hoped to hold him in his arms.
While at first all was well, bad news availed.
The doctors declared "He will not survive pregnancy".
But they did not give up on him, they wanted to give their child every chance to survive.
On on September 11th, 2007 he did prevail against great odds.
And Xavier Michael Wolfe was born.
Despite his victory the doctors declared "He will not survive the hour...day...week...the month"
But neither Xavier or his parents listened.
With all the worry and commotion surrounding the birth becoming a father had no settled in.
But later that night huddled over the crib in the NICU.
Xavier gripped onto his finger with his little hand.
And all of a sudden he knew he was a father.
And that he would do whatever it took to take care of his firstborn son.
While Xavier faced many challenges, he always overcame them.
But never alone he always had his parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, & cousins at his side.
Despite any disabilities he was very capable.
Xavier's loved to love and loved be loved.
As time went on they adjusted to being mom and dad.
And did not see or want it to end.
But Xavier's got sick and he was suffering greatly.
His good days decreased, and again the doctors declared "He will not survive".
But this time his little body seemed to agree.
His little lungs had collapsed for the second time.
And did not have the strength to ween off the machines.
The doctors explained and advised all the available options.
None were good.
Some may have extended his time here, but would have caused much more pain and suffering.
Faced with the worst decision a parent could ever face.
They had to decide to let him die in peace.
Or to try and beat the odds, while causing much pain and agony to their little man.
He was lost and felt incapable of making such a choice.
Either way he could not fulfill his duty and desire as a father to truly protect his son.
But a decision was made.
And their sweet angel slipped away to heaven while resting in his arms.
Being overwhelmed with feelings of loss, regret and failure.
He whept tears of sorrow and cried sounds of agony.
He was sure it would never get better.
And while in many ways it does not, life does go on.
While forever grateful for the 22 months they shared.
He knew life would never be the same.
Once again they had to hold each other up.
And find ways of distracting themselves from their daily routine.
For him this was done in attempting to keep a promise he has made to Xavier.
He had promised Xavier he would become a nurse, to be able to better care for him.
But now maybe it was to take care of others on behalf of Xavier.
Or perhaps it was because he felt regret in not being able to save and protect Xavier.
While he plugged away the registered nursing program for 3+ years.
It too was not meant to be.
Falling short by two questions on the last test in the program.
He hit a unsurmountable brick wall.
Once again lost his way, and broke his will.
He again felt the loss of Xavier, and the grief of failing him once again.
But again held afloat by his wife and family.
He began to find new purpose and goals in life.
And though he still struggles finding the strength.
He tries to keep moving forward.
Perhaps one day he will earn the right to be a father again in this life.
But his greatest desire is to be reunited with Xavier and his two angel siblings again someday.
So he can become the father they deserve.
But for now he will take life one day at a time
Continuing to be kept afloat by his beautiful wife.
Who hopefully still finds some buoyancy from his support.
The date is now September 11th, 2015, which is Xavier's 8th birthday.
So on this date, I want to remember and honor Xavier and all the happiness and joy in brought into all of of the lives he touched.
In life we all to often focus on our worldly desires and wants, and let them block us from seeing and appreciating the things that really matter. I am thankful to Xavier for showing me the true importance of this life, and for him continually being my focus.
Happy Birthday Xavier, my sweet little man!
Love you, Dad
And while I started this post with Xavier in mind, I would also like to wish my beautiful wife Devoney a happy anniversary. As we will be celebrating our 11th anniversary next week.
